Speaking To Your Children About Divorce.

Article By Patrick Mansfield | Best Rated Law Firms | 02/05/2023

Article Summary

  • Speaking To Your Children About Divorce

    1. Talk to your children together, if possible.


    2. Reassure them it’s not their fault and that you both still love them unconditionally.


    3. Make sure they know you will both continue to be actively involved in their lives and attend important events and activities.


    4. Respect each other’s time with your kids and support each other as co-parents.


    5. Keep rules and expectations consistent between homes instead of radically different from one household to the other due to different parenting styles


    6. Remain available for questions or conversations about their feelings about the divorce or any adjustment issues they may face due to the change in family structure


    7. Monitor any changes in behavior that could signal a need for professional help such as depression, anger or sadness

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Your marriage may have come to an end, but how do you talk to your children about the complex issue of divorce? Having a good relationship with your children is paramount for their development and understanding. If a divorce is looming, it’s important that both parents work together and make sure that the transition from one family home to two is as painless as possible for their kids. Here are some tips on how to speak to your children about divorce:


1. Have an Open Conversation


When talking to your child about the difficult news of a divorce, ensure that you give them time and attention by having a conversation in an undistracted environment. Letting your child know they can talk openly will help them understand better, feel supported and be able to ask questions or voice any worries they may have.


2. Reassure Them That It Is Not Their Fault


It is crucial that children are reassured that it was both parents who decided on the separation and that nothing they did was wrong or influenced this decision in any way. Both parents should also be sure not to criticize each other in front of their kids – heated arguments - especially ones that involve finger-pointing - can traumatize children for life.


3. Break Down Your Plan Step by Step


When communicating changes such as different living arrangements between both parents, break down all details step by step so there’s no ambiguity or confusion which might leave kids feeling overwhelmed. Demonstrate flexibility – explain where they will mainly live but also let them know that they will see each parent often so that even if the situation isn’t what they hoped for, there’ll still be reassurance of regular contact with both mom and dad.


4 Respect Your Child's Feelings


No matter how young, remember that it is normal for a child to grieve the end of a married household so try not to invalidate their emotions, instead respect what they are going through and lend support when needed.


5 Stick To The Points Set Out In Your Divorce Agreement



If appropriate, talk about what has been set out in detail within the court papers making sure at every stage both parents must adhere too these points including basic aspects such as when visitation rights begin and end. This consistency around expectations will help put everyone's mind at ease over time as well laying down sound foundations for future conversations on changes which need amending further down line


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